I was baptized, at age 13. I grew up in the Church and now at age 20, I feel like I have missed out on something. I have heard thousands of testimonies about God delivering people from drinking and drugs and sleeping on the street. These are wonderful testimony and people really have changed through the power of God. I think that they are amazing and people love to hear them. The thing is.. I don’t have this type of testimony.
“I’ve always been the girl who hid my face. So afraid to tell the world what I’ve got to say… Do you know what its like to feel so in the dark, to dream about a life where YOUR the shinning star. Even though it seems like its to far away, I have to believe in myself. Its the only way.”
I am just beginning to understand the last part. I have always put myself on the back burner. Im not sure if that is wrong or unhealthy but I put others first. I would rather hurt myself then let someone else be hurt.
My fear is this: I do not have the ‘right’ testimony, so I am not really saved.. I have not turned from the world and so clearly I am not a real christian. This thought terrifies me to the CORE. I unfortunately don’t have a happy ending. I wish I did, but I don’t.
Lord, show me who you want me to be. Let my testimony be a light for others so that they can get something out of my life. I doubt only myself when you are not in control. Please show me that you have the reigns in my life. I love you Lord. Amen.