Rewritting the past.

Day 21.

1st off, I just wana brag about how proud of me I am. I don’t really stick to things (fickle is a word that has been used to describe me) and im actually doing it! Yay! But I want it to get more intense. I do NOT want to be a surface Christian, but I secretly don’t want to go digging around in my past either. But you have to if you want a different future.. or something like that. So, today while I was “cleaning” my room, I found something I wrote my freshmen year of highschool. It was my “GAME PLAN”. I wrote a list of rules that I intended to follow down in pink ink. Here are the rules:

  1. Always keep your cool, no matter what. (broke that one today at work..)
  2. Never fix ones appearance in public. (Clearly I was reading Jane Austen back then..)
  3. Always be clean and tidy.
  4. Always be prepared.
  5. Never speak bad of someone.
  6. Keep emotions to a minimal. (yeahhhh….)
  7. Always smile. : D
  8. Present yourself with a certain elegance.
  9. Always say ‘hello’ never ‘hey’.
  10. Look wonderful, no matter what you do.
  11. Act pleasantly when talking.
  12. Hearts and flowers must be doodled. (oh my.)
  13. Keep up with school work.
  14. Become and idol in someones eyes. (I hope I meant role model)
  15. Read a book every night to become smart.
  16. You may talk to boys, but they musant get in the way! (yes, the ‘!’ was written.)
  17. Never sulk in the shadows.
  18. Stay on best behavior. You never know who’s watching.
  19. Never sleep in class…even math. (oh how i hate math)
  20. Help others always, no matter what.
  21. Must be bilingual. Speak great french! (that didn’t happen..)
  22. Follow these rules with EXTREME caution, if not followed correctly, some may think you are stuck up.

These are the rules I wrote. Did I follow them? Most. I have tried to live by the rules I set for myself because I watched other people and only wanted the best parts of them in me. So I created this list to know. But there is one that I feel bad that I didn’t follow. That is NOT don’t sleep in math class. I don’t like math and praise Jesus that I don’t have to take any more math classes for the rest of my life!!!! The one thing is speaking french. I learned spanish AND french, yet cannot speak either. I find this very depressing. I will work to try to change that. I want to be able to have a full conversation in one or both of those languages before I turn 21. (Which is in september.) I wish to be a fulfilled person, and I will do it if it kills me!

Dear Lord, in acts you gave the gift of tongues. I just ask that as I try to learn 2 new languages that you give me a small variation of that gift. Lord, I know you can do all things and I can do all things THROUGH you. So I am putting my faith in you. Someone once said ‘do something so impossible that it would be doomed to failure without God.’ Lord, let this be it for me. God I love you and everything you are doing. Its in your Sons name I pray. Amen.

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