Standing out.

Day 39.

Here is what I struggle with: fitting in without compromising who I am. Its hard. Its like trying to walk through Jell-O. I want to be myself, but its so much safer to be someone else. I mean, the world acts a certain way, and they expect you to follow their rules. The rules dont even make sense. I mean, you have to be blond and a size 2 to be pretty? You have to curse to be powerful? You have to be apart of 100 different organizations to be ‘involved’? I think that having curly brown hair and being a size 12 is pretty. I don’t curse yet I am in positions of power. Why is it so difficult to just being yourself??!??!?! Ugh, its so annoyingly frustrating. But I want to be who I am. I mean, God created me this way- so why am I so scared of showing people who he made me? It doesn’t really make sense at all. But people everywhere are scared of this. I know that God created me to STAND OUT! So how do I do that? How do I become comfortable enough with who I am to let God shine through? Dum da da dum… I have no idea. But I usually don’t know about these things. I mean, Im just trying to do all of this, but Im still young. I don’t have all the answers (never said I did). The only thing I can do is let that little girl out because keeping her hidden wont let her be strong. I need to let the little girl become a stronger woman without getting a hard heart.

Lord, help me be me. Let me figure out who I am and let the world see me for the woman you created me to be. I love you. Amen.

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