Something happened to me. I was asked why I couldn’t ask for a break at work today and couldn’t come up with a reason. I mean, I can ask people for things and let people know when their doing something wrong.. But I can’t ask for a favor. Nor can I ask for help.. Why?? I mean, why as a woman I feel like I need to do everything myself or I am a failure? I remember reading in the book Captivating, they made an interesting assumption about it. They said something that has stuck with me ever since I first read it. Talking about the creation story, Eve took th fruit from the forbidden tree because she needed to be in control of her life. She knew that God was in control, but what if she could do it? What if she didn’t need to ask for help.. Could it be better? I totally understand this thought. I don’t even know how to ask if this is a good thing or bad.. I tried to talk to Brian about it, but he just got annoyed and said that I need to stop acting like this. I don’t think he got what I was saying..
I still don’t even know how to come back from it..
God, if this is wrong please help me fix it. Lord help me learn why I feel this way and how to change it to trust in you. God you have all things in YOUR hands, please let me give you control of my life. I love you. Amen.