The Stepford Syndrome

Day 52.

The little mermaid. A beautiful fairy tale if you look at the whole picture. A young girl changes who she is to catch her prince Charming. Romantic, no? But here is where I am confused. Ursula (my absolute favorite villain, she is just so fabulous) sings to Ariel about becoming human for one small thing in exchange: her voice. In her song she says;

The men up there don’t like alot of blabber. They think a girl who gossips is a bore. On land its much prefered for ladies not to say a word.. Their not all that impressed with conversation. Two Gentlemen avoid it when they can. But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who’s withdrawn. Its she who holds her tongue who gets her man.

Really?? Can that be true? I mean, we as women have tried to hold our tongue because we don’t make the man feel inferior. So we have become a band of blond bimbos (not making fun of blonds here) who hide our intelligence. For example, my friend (and most beautiful roommate) Jenny wants to save girls from human trafficking. Its one of my favorite things about her. She is so passionate about it and is working in courts to try to change the laws to help them. But she wont tell a guy this when she first meets them because they are intimidated by it and run away.

So what do we, as women, do? Do we go back to the 50’s and become Sally homemakers? I do not want to be that woman. Most of the time I just think that a guy isn’t man enough to handle me. I mean, its not my fault that I am intelligent. Should I keep my mouth shut and be ‘ladylike’??

I asked guys on Facebook about it. The consensus is this: “I would like to be challenged, but I dont want her to be overbearing.” So there you have it. You may express your opinion some of the time, but not always. Please don’t make the guy in your life feel like he is less of a man.. (HEAVY sarcasm).

This whole topic reminds me of the movie ‘The Stepford Wife’, where the men marry amazing women and change them into robots for them to control. How do we stay away from this?!? Can we be the wonderful women that God created us to be without holding back for someone else?

Dear Lord, you created me this way. God you have given me gifts and abilities. Could it be right that you gave them to me for my to hide? Wouldn’t I be just like the servant who only got 1 talent? God, please help me sort through all of this. I don’t want to be an over bearing woman, but I also don’t want to deny who I am for the sake of hurt feelings. Please help me. Amen.

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One thought on “The Stepford Syndrome

  1. I agree with you, Tara. Women are being socialized to shut up instead of speaking their minds. I will even admit to falling into this trap. Although, I would not even say by just men. this is kinda dumb but girls in my high school told me to shut up. So I did. When I came to college taht changed but ehn liek in the case, you bring up, a guy my freshman year made me feel (although no one has the power to make you feel inferior) everything I said was stupid even going to far to call me a dumb-head.

    Now it’s stupid that I listened and he probably didn’t even realize until later that I took it personally but thr point is. God ddin’t make us not to talk or express true opinions, otehrwise we wouldn’t have mouths. Plus sometimes guys need someone to tell the honest truth. Why wouldn’t you(the guy, not you Tara) want your wife to tell you the truth? All the time, not just sometimes. Would you want your wife to only tell you she was cheating on you sometimes?
    Anyway, I remember realizing how I was acting, dumb and bimbolike, and deciding to change. This year has not been the best for that but God has been speaking and I am going back to that strong, smart Confident person who I used to be. God gave us brains and mouths for a reason and if we use them wisely, there is no reason not to challenge our men.

    So thanks Tara for posting this and reinforcing an dreminding me who I am.

    Love me

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