Day Sixty two!
Everyone has those people that no matter what you do, you will never be good enough for them to pay real attention to you. And its like no matter what you do their approval (or whatever it is you ‘think’ you need from them) is right out of your reach. And it sucks. There is a guy who (sorta) in my life who is like that. We were friends back in the day, but now we don’t even talk. And the worst part is that he is a jerk!!!!! I really shouldn’t care what he thinks but for some reason, I do. Which is dumb. I haven’t talked to him in years, but he still has a hold on me. WHY?!
There are also these two other people in my life who used to mean alot to me, but I am just another student to them. I tried so hard to impress them and did everything I could to be.. well anything. I wanted their approval, and for them to make me feel that I was special. The worst thing is knowing that you are doing everything you can but will never become the ‘favorite’. And how do you deal with it? I wish I knew. I wish I could write this and know all the answers, but I don’t. And so I live with this broken heart that no one knows about.
But I have faith, in God. Psalm 34:18 says : ‘The LORD is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’ So there it is. You can’t be in the world for every long with out getting a broken heart or hurt. But God is with us. How much more could we need?! We have such a loving father and he wants to protect us. Amazing, no?
God, what more can I say but thankyou. For everything. For loving me. For being the one who will accept me when others dont. For always being there. I love you God. It is in your loving Sons name that I pray, Amen. ❤