The 85th day!
Guys are not my forte. I honestly know nothing about them. So in my dealings where men are involved seem slightly immature. I like to think of myself as a Lady and I would act accordingly. But how does a lady act towards a man? Is there a difference in temperament if the guy is someone she likes or a total stranger? I was on Facebook and an ‘ex’ (if I use that term very loosely) was talking to me. He was a horrible ‘boyfriend’ and tried to ruin all the self-esteem that a freshmen in highschool could have. So when he started talking to me, I tried to be polite. I never seek out his attention, so I am always shocked when he seeks out mine. He was trying to see if we could hang out, which I am reverently against. I do not intend to go through that again. But I was cordial, showing him way more contempt then he deserved and being happy for his future plans. Then another guy started talking to me. Again, I did not seek him out. He is a friend but seems to try to blur the lines sometimes (but I could just be seeing things because I am a girl). I engaged him in conversation as well and was polite as I could be without giving the wrong impression. Soon after I went in public to see a picture (movie) with some friends. I sought them out and finding where they were sitting I called to them. Some guys behind them said ‘HEYYYYYYY’ back in which I quickly replied ‘not you.’ One of our party noted that this was the reason I was single. It was meant as a joke, but I am starting to see the truth in it. I have had no experience with men that should ever give me reason to give advice, yet I try to advise myself. What is the real reason that I am single? I heard a sermon once entitled ‘Single for a Season or Single for a Reason’. I know that because of my past and my testimony that I have a very good reason to be wary of men and their ‘wooing words’, but is God calling me to be single for a season, or could it be longer? Is it possible to be okay without a life partner? I mean, Nuns do it all the time – but that is a different theology entirely.
Dear God, I am sure that you have great plans for me, even if I cannot see them. God, if there is a way to show me single people who are truly happy please send them my way. I just want to know if I am walking alone towards you or if… Im not even sure. Please be with me, as I know you are, when there seems to be no one else. I love you Lord. Amen.