Its always surprising when you find out someone doesn’t like you. I mean, people assume the worst about themselves.. but to be proven right? Its kinda sucky. I mean, I don’t even like the guy who thinks my demeanor clashes with his personality. But the single fact that he doesn’t like me back has me questioning myself. Am I unlikable?? People always say that ‘not everyone is going to like you’ and ‘you can’t please everyone’, but the second that truth revels yourself in a real way, it doesn’t seem right. This is going to sound very egotistical, but I was honestly shocked when he told me he didn’t like me. And it wasn’t said in the catty sarcastic two-faced way that girls say it (that I am use to). It was said with all harshness and hatred. The most amazing thing about the entire conversation.. I kept my cool. Not once did I lash out or raise my voice. I was completely level and even minded.
Now that I have had some time to think about it, I’m wondering if there is something about me which is simply unlikable. That there is some secret something that all guys see that makes me disgusting in their eyes. Is that the reason that I have never had a boyfriend? Because I am entirely unlikable?
This guy unknowingly planted a seed of doubt in my heart concerning my self worth. If I don’t catch it now, it will turn into a huge oak of hate and disappointment in the people around me. So I take it to God. He is the healer of everything, my pride being one of those. I remember who created me and who I am truly here for.
God, there is doubt in my heart, it shows in everything I have done today. Lord, please show me the unlikable of the world to teach them that you more then like them. You love them. It is the task I want to perform. I love you, Lord. Amen.