I feel like I missed out on an amazing God moment. I don’t know if missed is eve the right word. ‘Backed out of, knowing how amazing it could be’ might be closer to the truth. There was this time that I spent with God in the morning where I prayed over Soccer Practice. It was raining while I was praying, but my God is not a God that is held back by the things he has created. So, I prayed for no rain. This is not a far-reaching prayer. I know that God is in control of the weather, so if I asked for no rain, God could absolutely make that happen. This is not new theology that I am talking about. I also prayed that today I would prayerfully consider every decision that I made. How convenient it is that I just remembered that (thank you Holy Spirit).
But when I got out of work today it was pouring. Worse than pouring, people didn’t want to go outside because they would lose their food they just spent $20852404975 on. (That is another story). Even as I am watching this rain start to flood the main street in Tampa, I know that God is still in control and that I asked for a dry practice and He was able to do that. A miracle that He had preformed before, that is what I was waiting on.
I got to my car two hours before practice was going to start and found a text for Kelly, my mentor and assistant coach. It simply asked if we would be having practice. In that moment I knew that if I said no, I would be telling God that I didn’t trust him to make our practice dry. That I had to rely on what the weather man said rather than what he could do.
What do you do when you KNOW that God can do something, but He doesn’t seem to be? Do you back out slowly because you know that people are depending on you and waiting for what you decide as their leader? Is that cutting God off and not letting Him work a miracle that He has before? Is there no faith left in you to hold on to a plan that you have prayed over because you’re not sure if God will come through? How much faith does it take to break plans? About none.
It took me a good half an hour to text her back. I thought about it and sort of prayed, the whole time thinking, ‘God CAN do this, so why is it still raining.’ There wasn’t a patch of blue sky anywhere. The whole sky was a menacing grey and so I sent back a text that proved my lack of trust in God. I don’t believe I have ever been more disappointed in myself. It is embarrassing to even type this out, but I am going to.
Currently it is about 7 minutes before practice should start. I already called my players parents and cancelled. The Parents seem to think that I made the right choice, but it is not raining outside. And it hasn’t been the past hour. And why is it not raining even though it was supposed to for the rest of the day? Because I serve a God who is greater than the weather, who listens to my pleas and wants to give me what I desire, even when I so clearly don’t deserve it. I am the worst of all Christians because I know that God can move and do great things, yet I decided to work in my own human knowledge. And I will come out wrong every time that way.
God, I have nothing.. I am sorry. Forgive my lack of faith.