This is a letter to you, ladies. The young darlings in my life- whom I know are worried about their worth. This is for you, dear ones.
I have recently heard a song that I thought I would enjoy, but I as listened to the lyrics I was shocked. Mostly because of the presupposed notion that goes along with the song. Dear ol Nick Jonas sings something that in theory could pass as romantic.
I turn my chin music up
And I’m puffing my chest
I’m getting red in the face
You can call me obsessed
It’s not your fault that they hover
I mean no disrespect
It’s my right to be hellish
I still get jealous
‘Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous
He is jealous. Because she’s beautiful. She’s everything that every guy wants. So he has a right to be jealous. Thats what is natural. That is what is expected. That is what is normal. That is what is love.
But what if he’s not jealous? Then that would mean that you’re not pretty. That you don’t have what every guy wants. That would mean that who you are is not worth being jealous of because what you are is not worth having.
If he is not jealous of you, it means that he does not love you. Because we are told that the amount of jealousy a guy feels towards you is directly connected to how much that guy loves you.
But what if its not?
What if love is not getting jealous? What if love is something bigger? What if we expected something different?
What if love was different than jealousy? Would we still call it love if it was soft spoken and tender? Would we still call it love if it was patient? Would we call it love if it was kind and trusting?
What is real love?
I read a quote that said
“Don’t make someone a priority who doesn’t make you a priority”
But what if thats wrong? At first glance, that makes perfect sense. Obviously don’t make time for someone who is not making time for you. Why would you invest into someone or something that is not equally invested?! Don’t do that! Thats crazy!
But then scripture comes up and just ruins this whole little quote that I was going to have tattooed on my foot and finally become one of the cool kids.
Because I read things like
1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.
Matthew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
Luke 6:32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
So love looks different than we think. Or at least than I thought. Because from what I can ascertain, love shouldn’t hold on to grudges. Love won’t keep score. Love cannot be jealous, because it is trusting.
But still, he may not be jealous. And maybe that still makes you question his affection. Oh, darling, if only you could see how messed up the world is to make you think this.
Because it SHOULD be natural for you to know how lovely you are. It should be natural for you to see how chosen you are. But we have forgotten how to discuss our worth outside of the #number. The number of likes we get, the number of friends we know, the number of guys who want us. So when someone has a bigger number than you, they are more of a person than you. You’re less. You’re not quite enough. You’re not worth getting jealous over.
But darlings, nothing could be more of a lie. You are so loved.
And we have to start seeing love for what it is. Love is not jealous, but hopeful. It does not count the number of people who love back, but fights to love despite the odds. Love will climb mountains, travel across deserts, walk through snow, fight through lightning storms, and more without any guarantee of reciprocated feelings.
Because that is not WHY love will love.
Love will love because love IS love. And we should love because that is the type of love we all want, isn’t it darlings? Thats the love that I want, so that is the love I must give.