I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get pretty bitter when people do want to use the gifts that I have in ministry. It seems like a ludicrous thing to be bitter about, but I am human.. and we have failings. This is just one of mine.
This frustration is magnified when I am around people who don’t know me because it forces to me to make a decision I didn’t want to. Should I tell them what I can do and brag about talents I now attribute to myself, or remain quite and ‘go with the flow’?
I hate to go with the flow, but I might hate telling people about my skills more. If it can’t come up in natural conversation, I absolutely loath and most times don’t bring it up. Im around strangers, they don’t know me. And why would they?
So I am currently in Ecuador with said group of amazing strangers that I am genuinely enjoying getting to know when we split up in groups. Meaning there will be an entire group doing something that I don’t get to. (We can start to see the disgusting human side coming out).
Slightly annoyed that I don’t get to hang out at a television studio, I slowly and admittedly reluctantly climb into our van to go work at a school. We drive about 15 minutes through the most picturesque city with the streets made of brick and drivers narrowly missing each other swerving through the small allies. All the while I am attempting not to pout like a baby. Its absolutely incredible how self absorbed I can be on a missions trip to see where God is moving and to serve a culture.
We pull up to an open gate with a man standing outside greeting us with hugs and “Buenos Aries” and my spirit lifts a bit. We are told that we will be painting classrooms. Another wave of frustration passes over me, as I was dressed for working in a studio, not painting. But reminding myself I was there for service, and it really didn’t matter if I got painted on, I grabbed a roller and was sent to Rita’s room.
Rita is the music teacher at the school we were working at and could speak just about as much English as I can Spanish. But we were able to have fluid conversation, each asking the other to repeat the statement and slow down.
Soon, like every encounter (especially those in differing languages) we ran out of words to say and sentences to put together. Then the most incredible thing happened. She started singing “Oceans” by Hillsong in Spanish. I joined in with English and together we were praising God in the way we knew how to, but they molded together and meshed to make something incredible.
When there is something as Universal as God’s love, there can no longer be a language barrier. We worked the whole day next to each other, asking more questions when we could remember the words, and just worshiping together.
The TV studio couldn’t have been further from my mind while I was singing with Rita. In fact, I had only really remembered it when that group came to the school to have lunch with us.
Because I honestly believe that God wanted me to be there, at that school. To remind me why I am really here. Not only in Ecuador, but in life. If I let the excitement that other people feel overshadow what I am doing, then I am not allowing God room to move.
The things that we want are not necessarily the blessings that God has in store for us. If we knew what God knows, we would never chase after half the things we do.
Even now as I am writing this outside of my room overlooking the city, there are hummingbirds flying around and doing their thing. They are not looking at the larger birds around them who are just sitting in the branches. They are not counting the number of trees they would rather go to. In their beauty and simplicity they are doing what they were created to. And its beautiful. Even more because we do not have hummingbirds in Florida and they are a welcome sign of Gods blessings.
There are things that we want to do, and we thing we are good enough to do. But there are far better things to do. Things that we feel created to do. And that is the best thing.
I want to always choose the best thing over the good thing.