Its a little strange. I started this blog while I was in University for a grade, (and I’ve been terrible at keeping it up) but today for the first time in a long time I went to the “me” part. Since its my blog, its all really about me and God, but this part is where I give you the surface-y stuff. I read who I was when I first created the blog and its interesting to see how I’ve changed. For an embarrassing example, this is what the “about me” section use to read as.
Well, well. Here is the section specifically about me! I get to brag about me and not feel bad about it because to you, its just a way of getting to know me. So be prepared! My Name is Tara Duffy* and I am a Senior at Southeastern University. I would like to think that I am one of a kind, but that not be the best way to describe me. I have a little bit of every girl you have ever met in me. I can be the cheerleader or the nerd. I can go from shooting at a range (which I love to do), to going to an art gallery opening. I love acting and singing and making people know who they really are. I love almost everything, except peanut butter because thats just disgusting. My favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice (the BC version with Colin Furth, because they actually follow the book). I love lucky charms, but I save the marshmallow parts for last because its my favorite part and I like to see the milk change colors. I am mature with immature tendencies. I am an oxymoron and every stereotype rolled into one. Basically, I am full of surprises. So you never know what could happen. Isn't that terrifyingly fun?! I think so! I am a Journalism/P.R. and Theatre major here, but really hoping to get into the news. It is my dream to be just like Barbara Nixon, but since that role is taken, I will settle for being the best investigating reporter in the world! If you have any questions feel free to ask!
I was a little obnoxious, but who doesn’t look into the past and see the same thing?
So, when I was in school, I had certain dreams in place. I was going to be a world renown investigative reporter. I was going to travel the world and find the truth. I was going to go into the deepest darkest places where no one wanted to go, and I was going to be the light! The plan was a fabulous plan.
My plan didn’t falter. There is a person that you think you are in College. Or high school, or even middle school. And you think this is the person I am and I will always be. However, we serve a big great God who sees past us. Who sees not only who we think we are, but who we are created to be. For that, I am so grateful.
The dreams I had were not bad dreams, but God has better dreams.
I wanted to interview incredible people and hear their stories. I thought that meant going to Istanbul and going to a bomb squad. As cool as that sounds, its not what I do. God has allowed me to work in a church filled with His stories in the hearts of thousands of people. Its beautiful! Because of this, I am challenged to grow deeper in my relationship with God. Its hard not to see the magnitude of God’s reach when hearing story after story of how God saved someone.
So, today I was thinking about dreams. (more like I was challenged to join a small group doing a book study on Restless and although I was convinced I was totally good (ha) I joined and Jennie Allen was talking about dreams today) I am thinking about the dreams I have and the dreams that God has for me.
I was honestly praying over if I was really ready to let my dreams die so that I could have God’s dreams instead.
WHAT?! Is she a Christian?! Doesn’t she love God?! How could she not want his dreams!
I know, right. But I have these great dreams that I thought were from God and I have been holding on to. Like I want to visit every continent before I am 30. Or I want to watch one of my inner city kids graduate college. I want to see Paris at night. I’ve got plans. Marriage and writing a book and blah blah blah.
So, as I sit in my apartment surrounded by maps and flags and pictures and dreams that have been accomplished and dreams that I want to pursue, I honestly take the moment.
Do I really want to give up all the things I have planned for myself, and surrender everything I have every wanted to God in exchange for whatever he has planned.
I paused. I cried. I waited. And then I decided.
Yes. The hardest yes I have ever given. I am ready to let my dreams die, to give over my life. I will surrender everything I have, everything I am, everything I hope to be to God.
So, to the girl I once was, I am not staying her. God has something more for me than to enjoy eating lucky charms. I am no longer the person I was, but even today I am becoming a new creating with the dreams and plans that give God glory.
If I am surrendering my life, it has really only started today. And the ride with God, I hear, is the best ride of your life.